Lucky Dog 1 translations 07 Luchino route 06

Part 3: Daivan

Chapter 7

Bathroom Hazing

Gian: …Whoowhee!

The spaciousness and luxury of the main room perched atop the hotel far surpass anything I could’ve imagined. It’s not glittering with gold, but it’s, shall we say, tasteful, and that makes it all the more splendid.

The furnishings are also slightly different from the sofas outside or in the other rooms. …And the beds are huge, too. Two doubles.

And there’s even a fireplace, a dressing table, and a small bar counter. The couches look big enough to fit a car. And that magnificent door over there, does the bathroom lie yonder?

The room takes more than a few strides to cross, but… Huh? …I don’t see Luchino anywhere.

Gian: Maybe he’s in the little boy’s room.

I then notice the many trunks and laundry bags that’d made it into this room God-knows-when and are piled around his bed by the dressing table.


Gian: …Oh.

Hanging off the luxurious, pure brass hangers is a familiar suit and jacket. It’s the one Luchino had been wearing earlier.

….I see undergarments by the bed and in the laundry basket. Both seem practically alive – like warm-blooded things with Luchino’s warmth and smell.

Gian: In the shower, huh…

I pop some gum into my mouth as I turn about-face and kill some time by pacing aimlessly around the enormous room…

…The sound of hot water flowing echoes from the bathroom.

I turn my back to the noise again and retreat back to the empty hearth. …I feel jumpy for some reason.

I look up at the bottles of wine decorating the top of the mantle. Peer into the classy bar counter. As I’m setting about busying myself…

Luchino: Phew…

Luchino emerges from the bathroom, swathed in a bathrobe, his sopping wet but bristly hair still dripping hot water everywhere.

…But what I notice is … when you take away his suit, holy shit he looks massive. It’s not really his height that strikes me so much as the width of his shoulders and the broadness of his back.

Still feeling jumpy, I quip,

Gian: …Say, ‘bout this booze. Think they’ll tab us if we drain it all down?

Luchino goggles at me, his face moist with steam and water, before bursting into laughter.

Luchino: No way in hell, cavolo. This isn’t some cheap motel beer we’re talking about. We’ve reserved the entire building.
Gian: The reach of our family gives me feelings. Lessee…

I tick off the wine bottles – one, two, three – resting like oversized jewels while, behind me…

Luchino takes out some bottled mineral water and loudly chugs it down. Glug, glug.

The noise drains the tension from me for some reason. After almost literally losing Operation Get Smashed to a wet blanket, I wander aimlessly around the room once again.

…Shit, I’m just a bundle of nerves for some reason…

Gian: S-Say…
Luchino: What’s up?

I try to cover up my anxiety … and end up blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Gian: So, why’d you OK rooming with me? If I’m just gonna learn the ropes, I could’ve stayed in any of the other rooms…

Luchino studies my face. A smile that doesn’t reach the rest of his face pulls across his large mouth as he replies,

Luchino: This room is by far the most lavish of the lot. Having one or two roommates … well, it’s a minor miscalculation, but I’ll live.
Gian: So I’m a miscalculation, eh. A decimal point rounded down and out, eh.
Luchino: If you don’t want to get rounded out of existence, make sure to put your back into it tomorrow.

With the bottle of water still in hand, Luchino strides past me on his stilt legs… Ack, the smell of soap and some kind of perfume stings my nostrils…

Luchino: The bathroom here is also bigger than the others. And besides … look! …Ain’t it quite the view?

I look to where he’s pointing, out the window. …Holy…!

The Daivan night view can’t go for a million, but the glimmering lights spread out below our feet is still quite the sight.

Luchino: The night view in this room is the cat’s meow. Though, if you want to savor the sunset or the ocean views, you’re better off with the guestroom on the other side.
Gian: The night view, hmm? Too bad I’m sharing it with another joe. What a waste.
Luchino: You’ve got that right. Kicking back with a flute of champagne with you of all people is not in my future plans.

Luchino beams a beatific smile before heading over to the dressing table, ruffling his hair dry on the way.

Luchino: Feel free to help yourself to drinks, but, don’t forget, tomorrow morning starts bright and early. Check yourself and call it an early night.
Gian: Bright and early?! …Ack, I’m hemorrhaging enthusiasm right now.
Luchino: Ins and outs of the job, remember? You’ll have to adjust to my schedule for the time being.
Gian: Aye, aye…

I feel like I’ve done a day’s worth of hard labor as I stagger over to the bed. It’s not the one Luchino’s claimed as his turf, but it’s just as big. I plop my ass onto it.

…Wow. Holy shit, this is fluffy. …And are these silk sheets? They sure feel it. Now then … sleepy time…

Luchino: … Hold it!! No sleep for you!
Gian: Gh, whuh…? What the fuck?! First you tell me early to bed, early to rise, and now you keep me from sleeping! What is this, hazing? Bullying?? A new kind of torture?!
Luchino: No, you dolt! Take a bath before you crawl into bed! …Or, hold it… Shit, you fucking reek! Don’t tell me…
Luchino: …you haven’t bathed once single time, have you?

I give an honest nod … and watch Luchino’s face go through some impressive contortions before he jabs his finger towards the bathroom.

Luchino: Go wash yourself, stronzo! …And make sure it happens every day!!
Gian: Eeegh? Do I really stink that bad?
Luchino: You smell like unwashed dog! …These are orders! No, your job! You clean yourself up every single day or I’m beating you into the tub!

Mamma? He’s demanding the impossible. I can’t pinpoint any opening to slip a word in edgewise, so all I can do is sulk off into the bathroom.

The bathroom is still filled with humidity and heat from its previous occupant, as well as the faint but unmistakable musk of another man mingled with the scent of spice.

…But, the washbasin and the tub themselves are spick and span. …It’s like he cleaned up after himself. …How methodical of him.

I can’t bring myself to bother filling the bath, so instead I slam the shower on full power before stripping off my clothes and timidly stepping in…

Gian: Eeheehyaaahooo!

…with a pathetic shriek. The hot water douses my entire body, tormenting the tip of each hair strand to the end of each nail. I feel dizzy, like I’d just eaten a good fist sandwich..

I stand there, stiff, for a while. …I’m pretty set on my bath-hating, but … fine, I suppose this is OK every once in a while.

I turn the shower off and pad back to the washbasin. I stare down the blonde skinny noodle peering through the foggy mirror like we’re readying for a quick draw as I wipe down my body…

I return to the room, still drying myself with the huge towel. Luchino, who’d shed the bathrobe at some point in time and clambered into bed, looks and judges.

Luchino: Mm. Now make sure to do that every day.
Gian: …Does a bath a day keep bad things away?
Luchino: Stinky men repel the ladies. …I have no interest in escorting such a walking pigsty.

Luchino’s sitting in his bed, sheets draped over his birthday suit as he … skims documents of some kind. …Maybe a letter…?

When I head over to my bed, Luchino sets aside the papers and flops back onto the mattress with a whumph!

Luchino: I’m turning the lights off now! Get to sleep.
Gian: Woah there, hold your horses! I’m not dry yet!

The second I dry my hair and burrow into bed, Luchino flips the switch by his pillow, and off go the lights. A wan darkness instantly envelopes the open space around us.

Cocooned in the sheets, I roll over to peer at the other bed through the dim lighting … at the huge beached whale shadow lying on top…

I can make out Luchino’s shape, draped in sheets. …Is he already asleep…?

…It’s no good. My brain’s getting all lightheaded for some reason.

The jailbreak. The roar of the engine. The blasts of gunshots… Snapshots of Daivan flash by like still frames on a reel, filled with people’s faces…

…and Luchino’s smiling mug. His biting words…

…and the Boss’s face. The image of his back.

All of these flash through my mind as I lay wrapped up in the sheets…

…before someone generous flips the switch to my brain. I drift off into a deep sleep, undisturbed by dreams…

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Onto Chapter 8 – Bright and Early >>

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