Lucky Dog 1 translations 11 Ivan route 04

Part 3: Daivan

Chapter 11

Italians are the Shit! Pt 2

Honus: Pffwheehehee!!  Come on!  Do it!!
Ivan: …

Ivan turns his eyes, eyes of wet stone, over to Rosalia…

…before … slowly, tilting his head back.

Ivan: …Heh … hehe…

Ivan’s … laughing..?

Ivan: …Hehe … Hehehehahaha…!  Hahaha!  Hahahahaha!!  Aahahaha!! Haahahahahahahaa…!!

Ivan’s laughter echoes through the warehouse.  He laughs with his head, his whole body bent back.  With his eyes wide open, his body jerks with each laugh as more cackling, each syllable dripped with black, disperse from his mouth.

Ivan: Hahahahahaha!  Ahahahahahahaha!!  …Haaahahahaha!  Aha!  Haha!!  Haha!!  Aha … aha!  Aheehee … hahahaha!!

Ivan, with his belt still clenched in his hand, droops loose.  His shoulder heaves up and down with each messy breath between laughs.

Ivan: …Hurting a kid like her…?  That’s … your big ‘test’?!
Ivan: Just how crappy can you crappy gangsters get?!

Honus and the other gangsters are taken aback by Ivan’s words.  An instant later…

Honus: Wh-What’d you say, you bastard?!
Ivan: I want to fucking kill myself for thinking of joining you bastards for even a second.  You guys … you’re just no-good delinquents.  You’re not even gangsters.
Honus: Y-You brat…!!

Honus’s face turns red like he’s having an apoplectic fit and swivels the gun in his hands towards Ivan’s face.  The guy behind me turns his gun Ivan’s way, too.

Gian: Guh … Ivan…!

At my voice, Ivan glances my way … and smiles.

Ivan: Sorry.  Looks like you Italians really are the fucking coolest shit ever.

Honus: Sh-Shut up, you fucking brats!!  Diiiie!

Just as Honus’s finger falls onto the trigger…

A door in the back of the warehouse flies open and a man comes tearing, practically rolling, out.  Everyone’s eyes focus on him.

GD Gangster 3: B-Boss!  It’s bad!  We can’t reach…!  The phone’s not connecting to Royal Forest Park!!

Honus: Wh-Whaaat?!

…Bernardo…!!  You made it on time…

Honus winces with a big twitch.  The gun and his finger slides just a tiny bit away from Ivan.  In that instant…


Ivan’s hand – the belt in his hand slices through the air.


GD Gangster 1: Gaah!!

Honus: Y-You!

The gangster behind Ivan claws at his face – his eyes – with his hands, dropping the gun to the floor.  Honus and the others all start yelling…

Ivan leaps to the side, and wielding the belt like a whip, slaps Honus’s hand, the one holding the shotgun.


Honus’s hand pulls the trigger, and the piece erupts with a dobang! into the ground.  The gangsters toss the camera and hurriedly try to pull out their guns…

Behind me, the guy’s shouldering a double barrel.  I wrestle down the sharp agony and fly up, grabbing the gun by the body.

GD Gangster 4: W-Whoa!  You brat…!


The man pulls the trigger.  The shotgun burst doesn’t fly in Ivan’s direction…


…but instead blows apart the oil lamp sitting on the wooden box into tiny shards … scattering the fragments and flecks of petroleum onto the gangsters racing that way to get their guns…


GD Gangster 2: …Guh?!  Uwah … gaaaaaah!!

The man’s body is instantaneously licked by the fire and engulfed in flames.

Honus: W-Waaah!

GD Gangster 3: E-Ee!  W-Water!!

In the darkened warehouse, only the man wrapped in flames can be seen, dancing red and black.  Just as the panic takes hold of them…

Ivan: …Gian!!

Ivan picks up a pistol lying around … and aims it at Honus.  Fires.


Honus: E-Eee!!

…Tsk, he missed.  Crawling on hands and knees like a toad, Honus practically brushes past the fire from the burning person as he heads for cover in the shadows behind the wooden box.


Ivan shoots one blast into the skull of the guy with the ripped eyeballs.  And…



…the thug shoving me down falls over without a scream.

Gian: …Ivan..!!

Free, I crawl over to the shotgun pinned under the guy, pulling it out.  That’s when…


Honus: E-Eee!!

The squeal comes from the shadow behind the wooden boxes, where Ivan’s currently aiming his piece.  One blast.  The shots punch the wooden box Honus’s hiding behind into Swiss cheese.

Honus: Y-You fuckers!!  …Gather the troops!  They’re getting away!!

Honus screams this as he’s crawling away behind the box.  Ivan points his gun in his direction … but then clicks his tongue before going over to the unconscious Rosalia and picking her up.

Ivan: …Guh!  Rosalia?!  …Gian!  You still alive?!
Gian: …Y-Yeah … but it looks like … I’ll be pretty useless from here on out!

We practically drag ourselves towards the exit in the dark.  Behind us, the sound of yelling reaches our ears.

Honus: Hurry!!  They’re here!!

GD Gangster 5: B-Boss?!  Are you injured?

GD Gangster 6: We can’t get contact of the golf park!

Honus: Who gives a fuck!  That comes later!  Catching those fucking brats comes first!!

Behind the darkness, the shadows of Honus and the others squirm about.  Ivan and I pick Rosalia up and we drag ourselves, my body practically collapsing from the intense pain, towards the exit…


Bang!  Bangbangbang! Bang bang!

Ivan: There!  Run to the car!!

Bullets from the gangsters’ guns come flying around us.


Bang!  Bangbang!

Gian: Guh…!  Fucking shit…!!

I stagger like a lame dog and run … run towards the white Mercedes sitting there practically overflowing with light in the darkness…

Ivan: Over here!!  Hurry!!


Bang!  Bangbang!  Bang!

The bullets strike the Mercedes, too, and Ivan ducks his head in.  He opens the passenger door and pushes Rosalia’s body in, when…

Ivan: Wh—?!  …Those fuckerrrrrrrrs!!

After arriving at the Mercedes … we notice “it,” and our visions go black.  …The tires … are slashed, the car body sagging on one side.

Gian: …How could this…


Bang bang bang!  Bang!

Ivan: Guh…!  Hide!!

I practically crawl, burrowing into the Mercedes’ shadow before climbing into the car from the opposite door.

Bang!  Bang!  Bang!

Ivan fires away at the bastards lying in the distance, hiding in the shadows of their sedans as they slowly slink closer…  He tosses the empty pistol aside and slides into the car himself.

Ivan: Haa … haa!  Shit…!

I crawl over the seat and check Rosalia’s body, see if she’s bleeding anywhere before undoing the ties.  Guh … my arm’s not moving all too well from all the pain…

Ivan: …They’re coming!
Gian: …Shit … my arm…  I can’t…

I reach into the back seat and grab a gun that feels heavy as a log and hand it off to Ivan.  Just as I’m doing this, the car body, with us in it…


Ratatatatat!  Tatatat!  Ratatatat!

Gian: Uwah!

Pew!  Ratatatatatat!

The Mercedes car body gets blasted with the rapid-fire bullets of machineguns.  That was close…  If this were any normal car, we’d have been skewered by now…  Ivan curses “Fuck” before taking the shotgun…


Ivan: …Bring it on!!  I’m taking you all down to hell with me!!


Bang!  Pssst…

The slowly approaching sedans illuminate us with their headlights.  The lights fly off, shattered, on one of them as the blasted engine spews some smoke and stops.

Honus: There!  Surround them!  Kill them!!



Ratatatat!  Pew!  Ratat!

A rain of buckshot blasts attack the Mercedes from the shadows of the looming sedans, mercilessly punching it with holes.  A few bursts slice through a weak spot and pierces through the car.

Ivan: Guh … shit!!


Click, bang!  Click, bang!

Ivan tosses the spent shotgun.  I rope together the strength in my body and pick up another shotgun, handing it to Ivan…

And as I do this, my hand…

Gian: …Ah!

I touch the roughness of leather.  …It’s the leather bag, stuffed with dynamite.  The one we’d brought back from when we’d been attacked at the hideout.

Before I even think about it…

…I practically hug the bag to myself as I pull it over and flip open the fastener.


Bang!  Click, bang!

Ivan’s firing away at the sedans creeping closer with their shotguns and at the enemies’ shadows, but…


Ratatatatat!  Ratatatat!

Ivan: Uwah!
Gian: Ivan?!

Ratatatatat!  Ratatatatat!

The enemies’ve started going around the back, too.  A rain of machinegun bullets blast at us from the rear, piercing through the rear glass window, and Ivan…

Pew pew!

Ivan: …I’m fine!  It just scratched me ‘s all…

Ivan barks this as fresh blood spills from his temple.  I stick my hand into the bag and reach around … and turn my eyes towards the outside.

…The enemy’s cars and men are closing in on us, slowly but surely, from both the warehouse side and the roadside.  The only side left open … is down the cliff that opens up to the inky black sea…

Gian: …Guess this’s it…

I grab a bundle of dynamite and pull it out … and put my blood-soaked weak hand into my pocket.  I take out a cigarette and a paper match…


Ivan: You stupid fucking gangsters!!


Ivan ducks down to avoid the lead and the chips of glass flying over his head when his eyes go wide as he sees what’s in my hand.

Bang bang!  Pew!

Ivan: Sh-Shit!!  …H-Hey!  You…!  What do you think you’re doing?!
Gian: …Hey, Ivan … can you swim…?
Ivan: Wh-What?  Y-You … you can’t be…
Gian: …Grab Rosalia and jump into the ocean…!  If things go nicely, you might be safe…

My consciousness almost blinks away at the agony assaulting my every breath.  …I have to … while I’m still conscious…

Ivan: Y-You idiot!!  …Fuck!!

Ivan roars through gritted teeth.  His eyes practically scream with the desire to punch me.  Seeing those eyes, those eyes that’re so Ivan…

…The relief I feel almost makes me cry.

<< Back to Chapter 11 – Italians are the Shit! Pt 1

Onto Chapter 11 – Italians are the Shit! Pt 3 >>


5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trish
    Jun 22, 2012 @ 19:40:35

    ;_; Intense. And weirdly heartwarming. Great job as always c:



    • terracannon876
      Jun 22, 2012 @ 20:16:51

      I’m … surprised you haven’t murdered me yet for my (masterly pulled off) cliffies XD

      Thanks for reading =)



      • Trish
        Jun 23, 2012 @ 07:03:03

        Hmmm… >D Nahh. Well, theoretically I know what happens – it’s just missing all the meat, you know? It’s like I heard the story from a friend who got it from an acquaintance who got it from their dog-walker, who heard it from their cousin’s handyman, and now, finally, I get to see the movie. XD Sides, I’ve done enough english-german translations in my life to know how long it takes, so I sympathise.



  2. Flower
    Jun 22, 2012 @ 20:19:29

    I love Gian he is so brave when it counts. Thanks so much for the update! You are awesome ❤



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