We Will Destroy the World for Gian!
Release date: April 8, 2012
System: PC (Win/Mac)
abbreviation used on this site: IFG (IfForGian, as the official site calls it, from the possible translation “If it’s for Gian, We Would Destroy the World!”)
All (messily screencapped) images are from the official site.
The story is told through simplistic chibi representations of the characters. The scenarios are mostly going to be gag (I mean, Human Cannon. What can it be other than gag?)
Gian has been kidnapped and no one knows where he’s gone! To retrieve him, the capos of the CR:5 have pulled out their ultimate weapon, the Human Cannon! Using themselves as fodder, they shoot themselves at the traitors, the Satanists, the aliens (etc. etc.) that stand in their way! However, because of the Human Cannon’s enormous power, its usage causes tremors and rains destruction upon Earth itself. Will they save Gian or will the planet be destroyed first?! Or will CR:5 go bankrupt fixing the Earth first?!
The game seems to follow the presumption that Gian is paired with no one (i.e., my self-proclaimed “canon” route), and as IFG goes on the feelings and relationships develop.
There are CGs to collect and various scenes, too. These change depending on the situation (more below). Each character has three different locations they can travel to, with each location having a separate plot. The plots in each location are not linked, but are more like “What if Gian were here vs. there?” However, the first location will have a light CG, the next probably a kiss, and the last complete blown-out smut.
There are four characters and one extra location once you’ve finished all other 12 routes. After you’ve finished all the locations for one character, you also receive an extra scene at the end of the last location (like an epilogue). This extra scene is automatically played and does not require gameplay. In addition, each location has 4 scenarios that advance the “plot,” for a total of 48 scenarios.
Canon-wise, the only new information provided by this game that isn’t gag are the appearances, personalities, and names of a few of each captain’s subordinates. And yes, the fandom has responded by creating doujinshi and pairings for Gian and some of them as well.
Bernardo (accompanied by 2 subordinates – Zanelli & Giovanni)
- Daivan – Gian’s been captured by the GD!
- Area 51 – Bernardo’s discovered that Gian’s been taken by aliens! Unsurprisingly, no one believes him.
- Germany – Benjamin helps Bernardo invade a Germany military complex that’s taken Gian.
Luchino (accompanied by 2 subordinates – Piaggi & Campanella)
- New York – Luchino receives words that the traitors dragged Gian to Manhattan.
- China – Gian disappeared while traveling to Asia as a representative. Luchino prepares to break him free from the Shanghai gangsters.
- Paris – Some Italian Mafia rebels kidnapped Gian and fled to Paris. Apparently France is also a straight man’s nightmare.
Ivan (accompanied by 1 subordinate – Al)
- Chicago – Gian was captured by enemies when visiting with Alessandro.
- Italy – On a visit, Gian was kidnapped by Satanists strangely reminiscent of Darth Vader needing a “pure blond virgin” as a sacrifice.
- England – Gian disappeared from Italy and somehow ended up in faerieland, complete with Gangster Faeries.
Giulio (accompanied by 1 butler – Bellett)
- Columbia – Gian disappeared into Columbia, where drug cartels and ancient tribes abound.
- Egypt – As one of the sponsors of an excavation project, Gian travels to Egypt and disappears.
- Japan – Gian’s been kidnapped by Yakuza while on a visit to Japan as a representative.
- Outer Space – Alessandro has found Gian’s whereabouts. The moon. Somehow, the cannon actually shoots the captains up there and the lot are greeted with strange rabbit-headed aliens who make mochi for a living.
The best way to describe the basis of IFG is as a modified version of the popular iPhone/iPad/iTouch/iWhatever game, Angry Birds. This would be doing it an injustice, though, as there are plenty of differences between the two games.
Instrumental to saving Gian is, of course, CR:5’s ultimate weapon, the Human Cannon. You can adjust its angle as well as the amount of explosives you’re going to use. The goal is to hit the “enemies” (SD Mafia-looking figures, although this may change depending on the map) on the screen. The scenario will end the moment you hit all the enemies.
However, everything comes at a price. Explosives cause money, and the CR:5 also has to pay for all the damages they’ve caused. Luckily, the family has an enormous budget, but … destroying the Earth is a pretty expensive thing to cover. Using up all the money results in a Game Over and you’ll have to replay some scenarios to get a better score (ie, lose less money).
There are also hidden items on each map. There are three types – usable items, money, and CG items. Usable items are explained below. CG items change the CG you’re awarded with at the end of each location a bit. Money gives you a bit of a refund as you eat up your budget blowing up everything else. It’s important to note that actually getting each item requires a lot of destruction and will probably ensure your chances of getting a Game Over before the end of the game. However, when you replay scenarios, all items from that scenario have already been flagged, so you don’t have to worry about getting them again.
Usable items can be equipped to your characters. They’ll use them while flying and each item will have different effects. Some of the items include (roughly translated):
- Drop items – these fall and crush stuff beneath them
- (the main difference between these is how much they destroy when they fall, how large the item is, and which direction the character throws the item)
- Mortar – All Moon 1-1
- Buddah head – Giulio Japan 3-2
- Boulder – Giulio Egypt 2-1
- Cage – Luchino China 2-3
- Briefcase – Luchino New York 1-3
- Throw items – several of these are thrown in a wide spray
- (the main difference is the direction which the character throws the item)
- Cross – Ivan Italy 2-3
- Chair – Bernardo Daivan 1-3
- Speed items – when activated, flies straight towards the right and breaks everything in its path
- (the main difference is the amount of power behind the thrust / how much it takes to stop the item)
- Rocket – Bernardo Germany 3-2
- Log – Giulio Columbia 1-1
- Rot items – these weaken the area around where they fall, making it easier to destroy in the next hit
- (the main difference is where the item flies when dropped)
- Wine – Luchino Paris 3-3
- Garbage Dump – Ivan Chicago 1-1
- Explosive items – these explode when dropped
- (the main difference is the range of explosion)
- Hedihi Egg – Ivan England 3-3
- Dynamite – Bernardo Area 51 2-3
While the usable items can be used on any stage, the CG items are location-specific. Their effects differ depending on the item. For example, if there’s glasses on-stage, picking them up will result in the scene with Gian wearing glasses. If there’s a person icon (not to be confused with the enemies), picking them up will result in someone walking on the two doing questionable things.
From the main menu, you can also view any CG scenes you have with the option to enable/disable any of the items you’ve already collected. The game also enables replaying the scenarios very easily, so you can jump in and out to try to get a better score. You can choose to save or not save after finishing each location. Saving will count the destruction % and the cost towards the total count, as well as save any items you’ve gotten during that playthrough (if you’d gotten them for the first time). Not saving will not save any of this, including the items, so be careful.
When you replay, you can compare your score with your previous score easily. When you save over on a replay, your old items are kept, but your destruction% and cost are saved over, so if you’ve bankrupted the CR:5 by a debt of $1000, but your new playthrough of that scenario has costed you $2000 less than on your previous playthrough, then you’ll find that the CR:5 has a budget of $1000 now.
List of CG Items:
(listed in order)
- Daivan – Bandages, Milk, Rope
- Area 51 – Octopus, Bottle, Cat ears
- Germany – Hat, Bottle, Whip
- New York – Glasses, Handcuffs, Mafia
- China – Candle, Whip, Water bottle
- Paris – Lighting, Belt, Lingerie
- Chicago – Lanu shirt, Bandages, Bottle
- Italy – Bottle, Rope, Aphrodisiac
- England – Ribbon, Socks, Mushroom
- Columbia – Paint, Necklace, Snake
- Egypt – Suntan Oil, Ball and chain, Waterpipe (also known as Hookah)
- Japan – Sake decanter, Paper, Calligraphy brush
- Outer Space – NA
- Generally, my favorite angle/firepower to test out the map at are 45-firepower (if things seem far) or 38-firepower with the cannon tilted at the maximum angle. These two firepower settings tend to hit the most stuff, I find.
- In the last scenario in each location, the goal is just to hit Gian once. The best way to do this is to set your firepower at around 40 and fire at the lowest angle. The only exception is with Giulio’s Japan stage, where there’s a river in your way (and you’ll fall into the river if you do that.)
- The game does not show you just how much the CR:5 is in debt when you bankrupt them, but it does have a number figure (so earning $100 more when you have a debt of $1000, which is displayed as “CR:5 budget – $0” won’t get you “CR:5 budget – $100”).
- It’s highly suggested that you play each route twice – once to get all the items, and another to pinpoint out the enemies. This is because getting all the items generally requires a lot more money and destruction.
- Like the previous LD game (LHL), you can get a cheat if you click on the little “tsu” in Yoppei’s name in the credits page. This gives you a Mushroom item which, much like its Mario counterpart, will make the character and the cannon larger … as large as the screen itself. With this, you can definitely defeat all enemies in one blow, as well as collect all items! …As well as destroy everything in its way and guarantee a 99% scenario destruction! On the other hand, you can’t actually use this in the main game. You use this item by selecting it in the main menu and then you’ll be taken to another screen where you can play every scenario (the same ones as in the main game) again, but with a huge cannon.
IFG also comes with online ranking. This is connected internationally, so you can see how others around the world do. In addition, the creators of the game have announced they’ll be playing the game, too, so I can’t wait to see how Yura does on the game!
You can set a “watch” on another user, too, so IFG will feed their ranking to you live.
Once you check rankings, you’ll automatically get points. These points can be used to get Gian Capsule Toys (the kind where you pay 25-50cents in a grocery store to get a little toy). These unlock different avatars you can use to represent yourself on the ranking page.
Updated: May 18, 2012